Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Adoption - Why hesitate?

I have been discussing about adoption with my friend for over a year now. She has tried everything possible to bear a child. Those painful expensive infertility treatments, change in lifestyle and many other options, but all in vain. Finally she decided to go for adoption. I know how much pain she had to swallow in-order to take that decision. It wasn't entirely upon her to decide, if so, it would have been easier. She has started the process and its not easy as I thought. She will have to make a lot of sacrifices. She is one gem of a person and is ready to race trough all the darkness and give love to a child. Nine months of bearing a child is much easier compared to the stressful process of adoption. So I'm sure the outcome will be sweeter!!!
When it comes to adoption I dont understand why many people hesitate! For me it is the best thing a human being can do to another who is orphaned, abandoned or is suffering. Why is it so complicated to understand? I know there is coercive adoption and in many places it has turned into business than good intentions. I regret those. But this post is about people who believe giving birth is the only option to love a child. That is ridiculous and absolute nonsense!!!! When I got pregnant I was overjoyed. I was waiting for the big day to see my little one. If you are someone who is finding it difficult to conceive, and thinks that pregnancy is such a pleasure, you are wrong. It is full of tiredness, morning sickness, afternoon sickness, evening sickness, mood swings, back pain and so on!!!! I know poets like to glorify pregnancy, ignore them. They are not true most of the times. Pregnancy is not just exciting but also exhausting!
Eventually, when I got Saira in my arms, felt her little hands and feet I got that wonderful smile on my face. I knew then she means the world to me. Trust me, it is the fact that your child is all yours, completely dependent on you, trust you on everything and follows you everywhere(even to the toilet!) which creates that special bond. You don't have to give birth to a child for that. What about fathers? Do you think being the 'sperm part' brings out that special bond. No, most of the fathers get closer to their child after the child is 3 yrs old. Thats when the children start to spend more time with their fathers.
So my point is, whether it is a biological or adopted child, when they are in your arms, cuddle you, come to you for all those silly matters, trust you completely, and shows off their little tantrums you are gonna love them forever. At those moments you wont think about 'DNA's you just feel love.

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